Michelle & Me at Club Med Guantanamo

The Rev. Mykeru writes today about all things Malkin, including a smear-job she wrote in March 2003 for Townhall.com about veteran journalist Helen Thomas. Thomas, it seems, had the audacity to express concern about the welfare of detainees being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

You remember Guantanamo Bay, right? I thought I did, too. Apparently we're thinking about a different Guantanamo than the one than the one that terrorists get sent to in Malkin's universe.

According to Malkin:

Last weekend, 18 Afghans were released from detention in Cuba after 16 months of questioning in U.S. custody. They flew home and were held briefly in a Kabul jail. The Boston Globe reports that "nearly all of the former detainees enthusiastically praised the conditions at Guantanamo and expressed little bitterness about losing a year of their lives in captivity, saying they were treated better there than in three days in squalid cells in Kabul. None complained of torture during questioning or coerced confessions."

Sirajuddin, 24, a Kandahar taxi driver, said: ''The conditions were even better than our homes. We were given three meals a day -- eggs in the morning and meat twice a day; facilities to wash, and if we didn't wash, they'd wash us; and there was even entertainment with video games.''

"There is no need to lie," Sayed Abasin, 21, told the Chicago Tribune. "I'm telling you the facts. They treated us very well." His record from Cuba shows he was seen 37 times by the Gitmo medical staff, for everything from knee pain to sinusitis.

The freed detainees said they were allowed to pray five times daily, exercise, and were given books written in Pashtu. Upon their release, as parting gifts, the Afghan men received new shirts, jeans, tennis shoes and gym bags (to carry their Korans).

Wow. That sounds fantastic. They even received gym bags to carry their Korans as parting gifts. Winning over the hearts and minds of the Muslim world, one Caribbean vacationer at a time.

It reminds me of a song:

Seasons in the Sun

We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.
But the wine and the song,
like the seasons, all have gone.
Goodbye, Michelle, my little one.
You gave me love and helped me find the sun.
And every time that I was down
you would always come around
and get my feet back on the ground.
Goodbye, Michelle, it's hard to die
when all the bird are singing in the sky,
Now that the spring is in the air.
With the flowers ev'rywhere.
I wish that we could both be there.
We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.
But the stars we could reach
were just starfish on the beach

Since this is what the Malkin-tier intelligentsia thinks US detention is all about, it's no wonder they resent complaints from liberals and the Muslim world about silly little things like the Geneva Convention, Abu Ghraib, waterboarding, naked human pyramids, etc. Look - you can rape a man with a lightbulb, but as long as there is a mint on his pillow and a paper "Sanitation Guaranteed" band around the toilet in his cell when he gets back, it's really nothing to get worked up about, is it?

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